I was reading a book called Skinny Bitch which really promotes being a vegetarian. When it comes to these types of books I'm like a sponge, I read it, take it all in, then I let some of it drip out. I took "Skinny Bitch" for what it was and only follow the parts that I agree with. I believe there are components in meat that we still need to survive, we maybe don't need the whole rack of ribs but we still need something. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.
In this book, they used quotes from Anatomy of the Spirit. It opened me up to a whole new concept where the emotions and stress in your life mirror your health and wellbeing.
So the more I read the more I made connections within my own life.
I was a pretty sick kid, getting all the bugs that made its rounds through school. I also had Beaver Fever for a few years after drinking contaminated water when I was 4 and no one noticed until I gave it to my brother.
They look so mischievous!
After I got over my nasty parasites I had it pretty good. Life was about getting through grade school and having fun with friends, and family without a care in the world.
My parents did a pretty good job at filtering the world for us and in a way I wish they didn't try so hard. When everything went sour and hit the fan, all of a sudden I had to deal with all these issues and it really scared me.
#1-My Aunt and Uncle went through a brutal divorce and I lost contact with a lot of my cousins, our family has never been the same since, they don't get along and they don't agree with what every body does. They are strictly christian but they are very difficult to get along with.
#2-My grandparents owned a farm that my dad took over when he became of age. My parents and my grandfather were business partners and after my grandma divorced my grandpa when I was 10, my grandpa married a gold digger and we weren't allowed to enter his house anymore. Very strange for a child so used to running up to the farm house during milking to grab a snack or play with the bucket of toys to suddenly be told do not go into that house unless your parents are present.
#3-Grandpa eventually tried divorcing the gold digger and said gold digger took him for everything.
#4-I have been bullied by my sister since I was born. This is constant and even as adults I struggle to get away from it and her.
#5-My dads younger sister was diagnosed and passed away from pancreatic cancer within 6 months the year....the month I graduated, leaving behind a 4 year old daughter, my only cousin on my dads side.
Me, my cousin, and my brother
I have never had a normal period without the assistance of hormones through the Pill. After I graduated I had a string of infections starting with Mononucleosis, strepp throat, urinary tract infections (literally about 6 of them in a row), yeast infections (every time I got a UTI, it was followed by a yeast infection), a round of impetigo, and a chest infection. I had a doctors appointment almost once a month and I fell into a depression, I pushed my friends away and I didn't know what to do with myself.
It starts as simple as maybe opening up to your friends more. Talking about things that make you uncomfortable is the easiest way to lift that burden from your shoulders. This is what I found helped me but I know there are many different ways to relieve the pressure. My friends got to know me a little better...a LOT better, and I wasn't afraid of my dark secrets anymore. No one's perfect, and you may find that they have the same..or worse problems than you. Life is too short to be living in your own shadow. Speaking from experience, it is so much more worth it to open up and become happy with yourself than live within your own protective barriers. No one said this will happen overnight, it is a process that you must be comfortable with but once it happens, you will be so ecstatic and happy with who you are that you will learn how to take care of yourself effortlessly.
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